please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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