You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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