I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Your tits are I can't wait for
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
