Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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