I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
