I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
