That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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