i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
