I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
