I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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