We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
