normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
