Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
