what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
