my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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