My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
