Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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