i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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