4 words: hood of his car
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
