can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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