I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
