Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
