He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
