I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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