Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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