Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
