i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
