you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
