yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
NoShamevember. You game?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
