sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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