Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dick very happy bro
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize