I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
