Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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