Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize