i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
