is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize