may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
