My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
