You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
