with your own penis?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
