K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
