We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
