hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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