I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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