Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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