There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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