if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you didnt know i had herpes?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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