Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
