omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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