dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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