Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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