Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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