big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
