3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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