At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
