North Korea, Best Korea!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
