May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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