I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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