So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
