in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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