it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
