But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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